Most people enter relationships thinking it will last forever.
The first few months are the well-known honeymoon phase. Neither person can do no wrong and the newness of the relationship keeps everything exciting. However, as time passes – you could be left with someone whom you are not compatible with. Worse yet – you might sacrifice your values, standards and sense of self to be someone you aren’t. This leads to much in the way of unhappiness.
Below I have identified five signs of a toxic relationship. If any of these scenarios are occurring in your relationship, you need to end it immediately. It’s as simple as that.
Reason #1: Both you and your partner have a drastically reduced sex drive.
When there is negative energy and an overall lack of caring in a relationship – your sex drive is negatively effected.
Some of the signs of this reduced sex drive:
- You slowly begin to have fewer and fewer urges to have sex with your partner.
- You find masturbation and porn more desirable and “easy” than trying to have sex with your partner.
- Your mental unhappiness is through the roof and thus helps to kill your sex drive.
Any of these occurrences are sign that you need to exit the relationship.
A sexless existence is terrible for a man’s health. When you are committed to someone whom you supposedly love, and that person can no longer please you sexually, there is a big problem.
Even when you do have sex it is more just to say you “did it” more than anything. It’s a “check the box” activity. Exit the situation and you will find your sex drive rejuvenated once you are now longer emotionally burdened with a negative partner in your life.
Reason #2: You constantly argue over trivial matters.
Blowouts lasting several hours. Always butting heads. Clashing personalities.
I’m certainly guilty of arguing over silly stuff in past relationships. Nowadays, I am much more aware when I need to stand my ground, and when to just let it go and not make a big deal over it.
If you find yourself constantly arguing several times a week over meaningless, trivial topics – it is time to consider moving on. In addition to being a waste of time – it is a drag on your happiness, well-being, and overall mood. A stupid argument can resonate for days and cause intense bouts of frustration and resentment. An argument here and there is normal, but disagreements all the time is a bad sign.
Reason #3: You each make a plan to change things for the better. The problem is that nothing ever changes.
This was a favorite activity for my ex girlfriend and I. We would have a huge blowout argument, eventually calm down, and then “map out” a plan that involved us changing certain things.
It all sounded good as we said it, but sadly nothing ever changed. As we get older it is very unlikely we will change the core of who we are.
We also become resentful when someone tells us to change something about ourselves. When we do change, it is because it comes from within and is something we want to do on our own, not because someone else commands us to.
I believe that someone has to suffer through a traumatic event (breakup, job loss, bankruptcy, etc) to make serious, permanent changes in their life. Basically, hitting rock bottom.
It was not until my relationship ended that I was able to reflect and determine the areas in which I needed to improve upon in my life.
If you commit to a relationship – be sure you are picky and are getting ALL the qualities you are looking for in another person. Too many times I see people date people, and then want them to change something about themselves several months into the relationship. It doesn’t work. You will have a hell of a lot more success if she already has said qualities in the first place. You will be fighting a losing battle if you try to mold her into something she is not.
Reason #4: Your effort level has drastically decreased, even though it still outweighs hers.
When a relationship is nearing an end, both people show little to no effort in improving things.
I lived with my ex girlfriend, and we basically became roommates. It got so bad that I couldn’t wait for her to go to bed at night so I could just hang out alone. The relationship was toxic, but neither one of us made much of an effort to really work on things and try to appease one another. Nothing was ever good enough and seemingly nothing could be done to make matters better. Instead, we continued to butt heads, insult each other, and prolong the unhappiness until we eventually ended things.
Reason #5: You stay with her because you fear the unknown.
This is the big one, and the majority of relationships stay intact due to this.
Can I do better?
Her positives outweigh her negatives…
Lets give it time…
I am to blame…
On and on and on.
Most people are completely aware of their unhappiness in a toxic relationship, but do nothing to change their circumstances.
Why is that?
Fear of the unknown.
It is better to stay in the current, unhappy circumstances than to venture out of the safety of their comfort zone, even if it means renewed happiness
Most men are unsure if they will be able to attract other women. They fear leaving their relationship and finding themselves without access to sex. To them, dating is scary and they have no idea how to acquire sex in the sexual marketplace. They believe they can’t do better then their current partner and convince themselves that things will improve.
In some drastic cases – men will shift the blame towards themselves for things that are not their fault. This is the worst state a man can be in, and he must fight with all his power to find the courage to move on and leave the toxic relationship.
How long you have been in the relationship should never matter either. Some people stay together because they do not want to admit the relationship failed, and the time spent together could ultimately be looked at as a waste. It is fool’s logic, and a surefire way to stay unhappy.Drama is something that is a mainstay in today’s world. Women get off on drama and need it in their lives.
More and more women are the dominating figures in a relationship, expecting everything and giving little to nothing in return. The male/female dynamic is near broken and has been for a long time. Men are afraid to lose their sex stream, so they obey their woman’s commands, even if it comes at the cost of their manhood.
I see far too many people going through the motions in an unhappy, sexless, draining relationship. Catch the warning signs of toxicity early, and avoid the drama. Once you escape the unhappiness it will feel like a huge weight lifted from your shoulders. Once you begin to meet new women and have casual sex, you will feel like a new man and be 100 times more confidant than before. You will never be a lackey in another relationship again.
Leave a comment below explaining some of the toxic behavior that happened in your relationships.