I started out at the skyline, watching the sun set in the distance. It had been one year since I moved into a new apartment 10 minutes from the city center. I had everything I would ever need here – a luxurious, third floor pad with a private roof deck overlooking the city around me. Close to work, close to women, close to FUN. I sipped from my drink, the chilled vodka and soda splashing into the back of my throat.
I chuckled and shook my head, my mind flashing back into the past.
“What a difference a year makes.”
It hit me like a brick to the head
A year and a half earlier, I was in an unhappy relationship, living in a rat hole apartment 45 minutes from my work downtown (due to shoddy public transit). I wasn’t happy and had no clue what I wanted out of life, never mind how to go about achieving it. This was supposed to be SO MUCH better I thought.
I Initiated the breakup. That miserable, gut-wrenching experience forced me to pick up the pieces and embrace the path to self-improvement. It turned out rock bottom was exactly what I needed.
I realized that I wanted, and could have, more out of life. I began to read endlessly – immersing myself in the advice and experiences I found in the self-help books and manosphere blogs I stumbled upon by accident. I learned through trial and error. I began to go out on 2-3 dates a year – getting to the point where it became too easy and burnout set in. I spent all my non-work time improving – physically, mentally, socially, etc.
I became a monster.
I shake off my thoughts. I stare out, the sun now hidden behind the glass facades in the distance. I finish off my drink and head back down into my apartment.
“It’s go time.”
Today I am in complete control of my life. I’ve structured my life in a way to maximize internal happiness. Most days I cruise on auto-pilot, seamlessly shifting my productivity to the many goals, hustles, and passions I hold so dear to my heart. I have minimal worries, limited debt, and a burning ambition that cannot be shaken. I still have a day job, but am able to whip through my responsibilities and spend most of my office time working on my side hustles.
Never take life for granted and never be satisfied.
I welcome the unknown, and have a steadfast belief that I will achieve smashing success. I’m not close to where I want to be, but my confidence is rock-solid nonetheless because I have internalized what it takes to define my why.
Developing a Core of Self-Beliefs
To avoid mediocrity, the trap that so many people fall into, you need to develop several beliefs about both yourself, and those around you. Most people you come across will be forgettable. They have no personality, no real purpose that defines their existence. You can sense it, almost smell it. Your own bloodthirsty desire for success gives you a sixth sense that can sniff out the weak and unambitious.
To maximize you life & happiness, you will leave a lot of people in the dust.
This fear drives me every day. It defines my purpose. I check myself when I slack off or get lazy. I tell myself, “Do you want to regret this wasted time in 10 years? Do you want to look back and wish you could have done more?”
I obsessed about it. It keeps me awake at night. I get disgusted walking among crowds; all I see are soulless faces, robotic motions, and a sense of “I quit.” I have promised myself that I will never be average.
I will never go through the motions and simply exist. It is the easiest thing in the world to do. Going home at night and watching TV for 5 hours is easy to do. Eating crappy food at a restaurant every other night is easy to do. Working hard to better yourself and do worthwhile things is hard to do. You must shun this life of gluttony and laziness if you want to avoid mediocrity, but understand that it will not come easy.
Find Your Reason
- What do you stand for?
- What is your purpose?
- What are your beliefs?
- What are 1-2 sentences that sum up your life’s purpose?
To believe in yourself completely, you first need to figure out what you stand for. Maybe at this point of your life, you have no purpose. You might be a servant of a greedy corporation, the lackey of a needy wife. It’s not too late to change that.
Define your grind. Write down your core beliefs, passions, and desires. Be able to tell someone (with conviction) what you stand for, what defines you. These qualities will become the driving force behind your success.
Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who worked with patients during the last weeks of their lives. She decided to record the regrets of these people, and documented them in a book called “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.”
Below are top 5 regrets:
- “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Most people do not think about these things until their last days. They go through life living someone else’s dream (#1), busting their ass for a company that doesn’t care about them (#2), or shun happiness to “do the right thing” (#3).
Realize what matters in life. The earlier you do, the better off you will be. Losing my father last year helped put things in perspective even more for me.
Am I doing everything in my power to live the way I want to live?
Will I look back on these great years, filled with health and minimal responsibilities, and have any regrets for the things I didn’t do?
How you choose to live is your decision only.
Will you continue to slave away at your desk job, missing crucial moments with your friends and family? As Bronnie Ware says, “health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.” We are not promised anything. Start TODAY, so you won’t have these regrets TOMORROW.
Embark on New Challenges
Never stop learning.
Try new things.
Visit foreign countries.
Sounds easy enough, right? Few people ever really leave their comfort zone. Day to day, their lives are the same. Time, a human’s greatest natural resource, is foolishly wasted by the masses.
In the past 3 years, I have done things I never envisioned.
- Started a website from scratch with no prior knowledge
- Visited the Caribbean
- Booked a 10 day trip through Italy
- Learned to ski
- Tried sushi, loved it, now eat all fish (never gave it a chance before)
- Became a devoted Spartan Race participant
- Took part in several volunteer/charity efforts
- Completed an online anger management course
- Read 60+ books on a range of topics
I’m 29 years old. My passion for new ideas, hobbies, and experiences is contagious. I have no family burdens, a steady income, and a life structured to maximize happiness. I’m excited to see where the next 5-10 years takes me.
Be Vain (Screw Humble)
Since youth, we’ve been taught to be uncomfortable with praise. We feel “bad” when we pat ourselves on the back for working hard or achieving success. We are made to feel guilty if we come off too cocky or boastful. This is nonsense and needs to be overcome if you ever want to maximize your happiness.
It’s time to stop being humble.
I never miss the opportunity to talk about my hustles and passions with friends.
Will they be offended? Will they feel bad about themselves if they have nothing to share back?
That isn’t my concern. It took a quarter of my life to realize that nobody else will worry about ME, except for ME. I am responsible for my journey and the opinions and approvals of others don’t matter to me in the slightest bit. This doesn’t mean I’m arrogant. But I am proud.
Like the famous Jay-Z lyric – “I’m not cocky, I’m confident.” Develop an unbreakable confidence in yourself, and soon you will care less and less about what others think.
You have the power to avoid mediocrity. Your mindset will dictate your success. The positive steps you take today will resonate throughout your life. I’ve listed and described the beliefs that have made me into what I am. I continue to learn and improve. I have a sickness – I am never satisfied. I am grossly competitive. My hope, and belief, is that this drive will never go away. I stay hungry, because I know that next week, next year – is not guaranteed.
Will you step up and create the life you want? Or will you swim in mediocrity, like so many of those around you?
I made my choice. What is yours?
Greg Plitt – Be Remembered
Until next time,
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