As I approach one year of gaming out girls, I wanted to take some time to reflect on where I was, and where I now am.
When I got out of a long term relationship a year ago, I was like most guys – seemingly lost and apprehensive about talking to women. I had spent a good amount of my earlier years in relationships, and thus was drastically inexperienced in the adult dating world. I knew college hookups and that was about it.
What did I do to change that?
I first self-reflected on my strengths and weaknesses. I was determined to overcome my biggest flaws and make them a useful part of my life, instead of a hindrance.
I then began to research and read; seeking advice from experts on dating, game, motivation, etc. I read, and read, and read some more. Many of the blogs I read during this time period are sadly gone today. However, you can use Google and no doubt will stumble upon some gems that have risen in their absence. Without the research I did, my entire perception and approach would be drastically different (and worse) today.
Today I am a better all-around person than a year ago, and it’s not even debatable. My level of experience with women increased tenfold, due to my frantic, manic pace of going on dates and meeting new women. It’s been a great ride with many hilarious and memorable moments. However, if you’re not careful – gaming girls can become overwhelming.
It is possible to be extremely successful with women and at the same time feel a sense of emptiness and unhappiness. Naïve guys who haven’t slept with many women might think this is blasphemy. How can someone who has a constant stream of new, attractive women willing to have sex with them be unhappy?
Burnout & the Abundance Theory
It takes a while to fully grasp and believe wholeheartedly in the abundance theory. A common term in psychology; the abundance theory refers to the belief that the right mind state, attitude, training, etc. will lead to material abundance(See here). In regards to women – it is the belief that there will always be a stream of quality women available to YOU, as long as you are equipped with the proper beliefs, methods, and mind state needed to acquire them.
I would say it took me 8-10 months of dating before it hit me. Most men get nervous and settle early because they fear will never “find their soul mate.” They do not have the confidence or developed ability to be able to constantly attract, date, and sleep with quality women. Thus, they settle and use 100’s of excuses as to why. The advanced, battle tested male knows this is fools talk.
Being able to attract and retain women is a skill that undoubtedly can be learned over time. Combined with charm, confidence, and good looks – a man can elevate himself to the pinnacle of his sexual dreams and desires. The problem with this is that burnout is sure to occur if you let things get out of hand.
For the past 8 months, I have talked to no less than 5-6 women at a time; sometimes as many as 6-7.
Wasted time and energy in the form of daily banter and simple text messages, as well as dates that might not go anywhere.
Having a constant, carefree attitude towards sex, giving me little patience with drama, attitude, or flaky behavior. I’ve lost or been rejected by 5x more girls then I’ve been with, and I didn’t let any affect me in the slightest.
At first, I was out to prove to myself that I could actually DO IT – attract women and have sex with them. Now that I know I can, I could care less about my #’s and focus more on the fact that I enjoy sex with pretty girls. It’s that simple.
You must put yourself first. Your personal needs and wishes must come ahead of gaming out girls. It should be a fun, exciting activity – but one that does not consume your entire state of being.
There are times where I am exhausted from meeting new women, scheduling several dates a week. The experience and confidence gained cannot be put into words. Although I was and stay on a frantic pace – I do it on my terms and according to my rules. I dictate the scenarios, and I am at a place where I put myself first every single time. The girl can come along for the ride, or she can go away. The abundance theory is fully engrossed in my mind. I take care of my mind and body, I work on my passions and hobbies, and I also interact and have sex with lots of women. I enjoy it, so that is what I will continue to do.
For me, game started as a way to prove to myself that I could actually “do it.” I know now that I can. The goal now is to not overextend myself – to know when to pull back, realizing I have the power to attract a higher % than most men, and to not abuse that power by bringing on too many new girls. Balance is key.
The abundance theory is all a mind state. It will lead to success. But you have to be willing to grind – both on improving yourself and meeting new women. All the tips and advice in the world will never substitute for going out and getting experience. Just make sure you always keep yourself and your happiness – #1!