Shades of a Single Man – Which are You?
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Shades of a Single Man – Which are You?

Being single can be a remarkable time in one’s life – filled with casual encounters, spontaneity, and unforgettable memories. The single man has no responsibilities to anyone other than himself, and is free to come and go as he pleases. Being single (combined with the extra bonus of being young) is the time to make questionable decisions, learn from mistakes, and strengthen one’s resolve and character.

That being said – there are different shades of being single. Let’s use two hypothetical figures as an example – Jim and Dan.

Jim and Dan have both been single for one year. Both have experience with long-term relationships, come from similar backgrounds, and are slightly above average looking. This is where the similarities end however.

Jim isn’t the outgoing type, but is also not reclusive. He tends to talk a big game around his friends but is indifferent around those he is not familiar with. Jim had a nasty split from his ex-girlfriend, where he spent the last few months belittling and ignoring her. Once the relationship ended, Jim didn’t spend much time reflecting on what happened. He didn’t put an plan in place to better himself, instead just going through the motions day after day, working a dead end job and having no interest on physical fitness. An ideal night for single Jim is to out drink all his boys – a result that usually ends miserably. Jim rarely approaches girls, saying they are a “waste of time.” The only time Jim is sexual active is when he was binge drinking and a below average chick approaches him, equally as drunk as Jim. Even this is a rare occasion. To say Jim has weak game would be an understatement.

Dan is a very outgoing person. He wasn’t always this way; but spent several months reading up on game, self-improvement, and the social dynamics between men and women. He analyzed his strengths and weaknesses, and methodically works to better himself in all aspects of his life. Dan goes to the gym 5x a week, has a great sense of style, and is comfortable and “natural” when he is in social settings. Through vigorous trial and error with women over the course of the past year – Dan has developed tight game that he has tested and refined. Dan has no fear of rejection and has an unshakable belief in the abundance mentality when it comes to women. He also has no anxiety when talking with beautiful women. All of this is due to Dan’s “always hungry” mentality, where he refuses to settle for mediocrity. All-in-all – Dan has drastically improved over the person he was at the conclusion of his last relationship.

Although Jim and Dan are both single – there is a drastic difference in which they carry themselves and go about their lives.

Jim takes what he can get – especially with women. He relies on a combination of alcohol and chance, taking whatever girl falls into his lap, despite her looks. He thus has no experience with quality women, and thus is always getting into doomed relationships with the poor quality women he meets at bars.

Dan is always looking to improve himself in some capacity. He took a step back after his failed relationship and focused on strengthening himself before getting out and meeting new women. Although nervous and inexperienced at first, Dan willed himself into a formidable presence that made girls look twice when he was in their presence.

Are you actively improving like Dan? Learning game techniques? Going on dates and learning how to apply knowledge? Or are you like Jim – making no strides in your life and just living in the drunken moment? Both are single. One succeeds, while one fails.

Shades of a single man – which are you?

-Axel

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  • Ankur Agrawal

    I think I am much more like Dan. Acknowledging that there is a problem, then being proactive and searching for its solution is something I am always doing. I think this is the best approach to solve any issue rather than waiting for someone to help you.

    • Thanks for the comment Ankur. That’s great to hear – you always want to work on yourself to become independent and well-rounded. Help is okay, but you want to be reliant on yourself for happiness – and from there, everything will fall into place.

  • H8TheWayLifeIs

    so with Jim, the girlfriends he had were not really high-quality girlfriends, they were kinda below average looking? taking what you can get means lowering your standards right?

    • The point I was trying to make with this article is that being single can mean different things depending on how the man acts. In Jim’s case, he is lazy and doesn’t try to improve himself. Yes, taking what you can get means you don’t really try to go after what you want, but instead wait around for good things to happen to you. As we know, this isn’t how life works. Deep down, Jim is afraid of failure so he cannot risk being rejected by women, so he settles with whatever he can get.

      • H8TheWayLifeIs

        going for what you want, or going after what you want, are women, or were women just meant to play a passive role in society? why do you think it’s biological or just masculine for a man to go for what he wants or go after what he wants, not just with women but in all aspects of life?